You and your child may feel excited—or apprehensive—about the first day of preschool. This is a big transition for children, especially those going to school for the first time. Children will learn many social and emotional and academic skills in preschool that will help them throughout their school careers, so it’s important to help children feel comfortable in the classroom.
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Checklist To Navigate the Transition to Preschool
To help your child get the most out of the preschool experience, we asked a Start Early expert for some advice for parents handling this transition. Annaliese Newmeyer a teacher at Educare Chicago, a program of Start Early, shared her tips to help you and your child prepare for preschool.
Before the first day:
- Drive or walk by your child’s new school. Seeing their school ahead of time will help familiarize them with their new space. You can show them where things are like the main door and the playlot. This will help your child feel more comfortable with the space and how things will look on their first day.
- Meet with the teacher. Meeting your child’s teacher ahead of their first day is very helpful for both you and your little learner. At this meeting, you can help your child learn their new teacher’s name and give your child a chance to become comfortable with them. You can also take this time to ask the teacher what your child will be learning and what skills they expect children to have on day one. Then, you can set some realistic and developmentally-appropriate goals for your child. For example, do you work on your child’s reading? Together you can set goals that can help your child develop early literacy skills, like being able to recognize their name and the letters in their name.
- Celebrate this milestone. This can be the beginning of a tradition to say goodbye to Summer and hello to the school year! Maybe you and your child go get an ice cream sundae or go to a baseball game or stay up late and watch movies and eat snacks together.
On the first day:
- Be prepared. Bring a bookbag with a change of clothes, a favorite blanket or stuffed animal for nap time, and even a picture of your family. Having something that reminds your child of home with help them feel more at ease in their new environment.
- Make sure your child eats a good breakfast and gets some rest. Your child’s school might give them breakfast, but it might be later, and you don’t want them to be too hungry!
- Expect the first day to be easy but it might get hard the second day or the second week when reality sets in that they must return to school every single weekday.
- Explain to your child that this will be a hard transition for you too! You will miss them, and they will have to meet new people and have new experiences but each day will get easier.
- Make sure you say goodbye, do not sneak away. Have the same goodbye every day; we call this a goodbye ritual. It can be a hug, a special handshake or a dance! This ritual will help your child learn what to expect when you come to class and will help ease their anxiety when you leave.
Ongoing:
- Ask questions! Ask your child’s teacher how each day is going and what you can do to help make it better. And be sure to ask your child how their day was. At first, they might just say nothing, but as you ask them every day, their answers will become more and more descriptive.
- Volunteer in the classroom if you can. Get to know the other kids and parents. This is your new community, your new village and you are there to support each other!
- Be Open: Covid has affected children in many different ways. We are seeing more children who are qualifying for services, such as speech therapy, due to having to wear masks or seeing adults wear mask, when they were first learning to talk. These type of Early Invention services are so important for children to receive; they are free and the earlier they get them, the less likely they will need them later in life!
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Advances in brain research show that children are born learning and that their first three years of life in particular are important indicators for the success they can have later in school and in life. Early experiences that are language-rich and nurturing promote healthy brain development. So finding a quality early learning setting is essential for parents who work and seek child care.
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Checklist To Prepare for a New Child Care Setting
Once you’ve found a quality setting—from a center-based program to home child care to a relative’s house—here’s some advice from our expert Teresa Bennett a family support specialist at Educare Chicago, a program of Start Early, on how you can prepare your child for their first day of daycare:
- Visit the Child Care Center
To help your child get to know the new environment, visit the child care center with your child before the first day. You and your child can meet the caregiver. Take photos of the route to the center, the center entrance and the room where your child will spend the day. You can assemble the photos as a book, which you can use to talk to your child at home about what their day will be like and where they will go. - Talk to Your Child
To help prepare your infant or toddler to go to out-of-home care, explain using language and concepts they will understand about where they’ll be going and what they’ll be doing. Talk about how they will meet new children and participate in fun activities. Always mention that you’ll be back at the end of the day to take them home. - Build a Relationship With the Caregiver
Your young child may not be able to talk, but they can observe your actions. They’ll form their opinion of the caregiver based on your reactions. Make time each day to talk to the caregiver and begin building a strong relationship. Caregivers at quality early learning programs see parents as partners and will want to develop a strong relationship with you, your child’s first and most important teacher. - Share Information About Your Child
Talk to the caregiver about your child’s cues, likes, dislikes and temperament. How do they like to be fed, soothed and put to sleep? Your tips will help the caregiver know how to best care for your child without having to guess which methods to try. You can also explain what developmental skills you’d like your child to learn. Ask for daily updates about your child’s progress from the caregiver. - Create a Morning Routine
Routines help children feel in control of their surroundings, which eases anxiety. Create a morning routine so your infant or toddler knows what to expect before going to the child care center. Find out if the center provides breakfast so you know whether or not your child needs to eat at home. - Develop a Goodbye Ritual
Create a goodbye ritual so that your infant or toddler starts to feel comfortable with their caregiver when you leave. Your ritual could be a hug, a high five or interacting together with a toy before you leave. Whatever activity you choose, make sure you take time to talk to your child about what’s happening and don’t rush the process. Once your child becomes used to the goodbye ritual, they’ll be better able to regulate their emotions so that they can calm themself more easily when you go. Learn more about separation anxiety. - Bring a Transitional Object
Your child may feel more at ease in a new environment with an object that reminds them of home. This could be a photo of your family that’s laminated or a stuffed animal that your child enjoys. The child can hold the object during the day as a reminder that this new environment is temporary and that you will come back to take them home. - Ask What You Can Do at Home
To extend your child’s learning, ask the caregiver what school readiness skills the children will be working on during the day and what related activities you can do at home. The reverse is also true: share information about what activities you are doing at home that your child is interested in and ask if the teacher can do something similar in class. - Complete Any Medical Requirements
Find out from the school or center what doctor or dentist appointments must be completed or scheduled before the first day. - Bring a Change of Clothes
It’s a good idea to bring a change of clothes for your infant or toddler in case they encounter any water, finger paint, etc. Also, ask the center if you need to bring diapers or formula for your child. - Share Your Contact Information
Let the caregiver know if it’s best to reach you by phone or email and share that contact information.
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School clothes? ✔ New backpack? ✔ School supplies? ✔ Explaining to your child what the transition to school will be like… no? Starting preschool and kindergarten can be an exciting yet stressful time for children. New school, new teachers, new classmates—everything is different. It’s important to give your child a frame of reference to help ease the transition into preschool and kindergarten. Reading books with your child about going to school is a great way to give them an idea of what to expect on that first day.
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Making the transition into preschool and kindergarten is a big step and a big change in a young child’s life. Explaining what it might be like is critical in helping them feel secure. Reading books on the subject at storytime gives parents the opportunity to enhance their child’s understanding by providing illustrated examples of what their new school will be like and helping make learning fun.
Back-to-School Books for Preschoolers & Kindergarteners
Here’s a list of books recommended by the experienced staff and teachers of Educare Chicago. From books on how children around the world get to school, to first-day jitters, to classics that have stood the test of time, you are bound to find one, or more, that will be a wonderful tool to explain this milestone to your child. So get out there and start reading!
- Llama Llama Misses Mama by Anna Dewdney
It’s Llama Llama’s first day of preschool! And Llama Llama’s mama makes sure he’s ready. They meet the teachers. See the other children. Look at all the books and games. But then it’s time for Mama to leave. And suddenly Llama Llama isn’t so excited anymore. - My Preschool by Anne Rockwell
Join a happy little boy during a day at preschool, from cheerful hellos in circle time, to painting colorful pictures and playing at the water table before snack time. The best part of saying goodbye at the end of the day is that the little boy knows he will come back tomorrow. - Miss Bindergarten Gets Ready for Kindergarten by Joseph Slate
It’s the first day of kindergarten and Miss Bindergarten is hard at work getting the classroom ready for her 26 new students. Miss Bindergarten puts the finishing touches on the room just in time, and the students arrive. Now the fun can begin! - Kindergarten Kids by Ellen Senisi
This cheerful photo essay shows 21 kids in a kindergarten class on a typical day. Girls and boys play with everything from computers to blocks; they learn the alphabet and how to follow rules; they dress up, say the pledge of allegiance, listen to stories, and make music and art together. Sometimes they even have a bad day. - Night Before Kindergarten by Natasha Wing
Join the kids as they prepare for kindergarten, packing school supplies, posing for pictures, and the hardest part of all—saying goodbye to mom and dad. But maybe it won’t be so hard once they discover just how much fun kindergarten really is. - Kindergarten ABC by Jacqueline Rogers
Each and every day celebrates a letter of the alphabet with a fun-filled classroom scene. - Who Will Go to School Today? by Karl Ruhmann
Sam decides to send his toy monkey Timbo to kindergarten in his place, but after telling Timbo about his school friends and what his day is really like, he realizes he wants to go himself. - Froggy Goes to School by Jonathan London
Froggy’s mother knows that everyone is nervous on the first day of school. Froggy’s exuberant antics, complete with sound effects, will delight his many fans and reassure them that school can be fun. - Otto Goes to School by Todd Par
Otto goes to school for the first time, where he makes new friends and learns how to wag his tail without knocking things over. - This is the Way We Go to School: A Book about Children Around the World by Edith Baer
With fun-filled rhymes and colorful illustrations, children will discover just how much fun getting to school can be. - Going to School by Sally Hewitt
Children learn what it is like to go to school in other countries. - Seven Little Mice Go to School by Haruo Yamashita
It’s time for seven little mice to start school! And it’s up to Mother Mouse to get them there. - Chicken Chickens Go to School by Valeri Gorbachev
It’s the first day of school for the little chickens and they are a little scared. How a wise teacher helps the chickens overcome their fears and win some wonderful new friends is a heartwarming story that will reassure youngsters experiencing their own first-day jitters. - Our Class is a Family
With its heartfelt message and colorfully whimsical illustrations, “Our Class is a Family” is a book that will help build and strengthen that class community. Kids learn that their classroom is a place where it’s safe to be themselves, it’s okay to make mistakes, and it’s important to be a friend to others. When hearing this story being read aloud by their teacher, students are sure to feel like they are part of a special family.
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Can you believe it’s almost time for your child’s first day of kindergarten? This can be exciting and overwhelming for many parents and children. To help you prepare, we asked a Start Early expert for advice for parents. Lisa LaRue a teacher at Educare Chicago, a program of Start Early, shared her tips to help you and your child have a successful school year.
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Checklist To Navigate the Transition to Kindergarten
The start of kindergarten can be exciting, stressful, intimidating and scary at the same time. As a parent, you can help ease some of your child’s worries and fears by having conversations around their feelings. By learning as much as you can about the kindergarten experience, you’ll be able to better explain the transition to your child and they’ll understand how fun kindergarten will be!
- Meet the Teacher Before the First Day of School
If you can, schedule a time for you and your child to meet their kindergarten teacher before the first day of school. This will give your child the chance to become comfortable with the teacher. You can also let the teacher know about your child’s preferences, temperament, strengths and weaknesses. For example, if your child had trouble with transitions in preschool, explain how you and the preschool teacher helped them overcome that challenge. The kindergarten teacher will appreciate your tips! You can also talk about your aspirations for your child and what you hope your child will learn in the upcoming year. Ask how you can be involved in the classroom. Be sure to share your contact information and let the teacher know the best way to reach you. - Set a Consistent Routine Before School Starts
A consistent morning and evening routine will help your child feel prepared for the first day of kindergarten. Young children benefit from routines because when they know what will happen next they are less prone to find changes stressful. Set a bedtime to help your child get a good night’s rest. In the morning, leave enough time for getting dressed, eating breakfast and packing backpacks. Start your routine a few weeks before kindergarten so you know how long it will take to get ready. Be sure to have a goodbye ritual like a high five, blowing a kiss or giving a hug to help your little one understand that it is time for you to leave, this will help them feel less anxious knowing that you are going to return later. - Do a Dry Run
A few days before the first day of school, do a dry run of your morning routine, including going to school. You can walk or drive to school, or walk to the bus stop with your child. Show your child the door they will walk in on the first day of school. Ask the school what the pick-up and drop-off policies are. Some schools allow parents to come into the classroom to drop their children off, and others have a different meeting point. Not only will you find out exactly how long your morning routine takes, you’ll also give your child a better sense of what the day will look like to prevent first-day-of-school anxiety. While you are in the classroom, you can discuss with your child what is the same and what is different about this classroom and their old preschool classroom. Do they have the same areas? Are there desks? What is not there? You can also ask the teacher if your child can bring in a family picture or something special to add to their cubby to feel more comfortable. You can also watch YouTube videos of kindergarten classrooms together and even role play different school scenarios at home if your child has more questions or wants to see more examples. - Find Out What Skills the Teacher Expects Children to Have on Day One
Kindergarten teachers may expect children to be able to handle their emotions, articulate their needs, listen to directions, raise their hand before talking, write their name, and recognize shapes and colors on the first day of school. Find out what the expectations are in advance and ask for tips on how to prepare your child for any skills they are still working on. If your child has mastered those skills, ask the teacher what will be done to challenge your child in the classroom. - Read to Your Child
Check out our list of recommended books below for kindergarten students. Start reading books before school starts during storytime so that your child has a better idea of what going to school will be like. - Be an Advocate
If your child needs any special services, talk to the administration and the classroom teachers in advance to find out who provides them. Ask if the services are provided inside or outside the kindergarten classroom. If your child has an individualized education plan from preschool, find out how that plan transfers over to kindergarten. - Network With Other Parents
Talking with other parents is a great way to build a support system to help you through all the challenges of parenthood. Ask the school what supports are available for parents and what opportunities are provided for parents to meet, such as parent groups, school councils, or other committees that you can join. - Prepare for Breakfast and Lunch
Find out if your school provides breakfast and/or lunch and plan accordingly. Your child may be used to eating at certain times at home or at an early childhood center, so explain how mealtimes may be changing. If your child will be buying lunch, get a menu from the school. Find out how food preferences are honored. For instance, some schools ask for a doctor’s note for food allergies. - Decrease Naptime
Some schools may offer a resting period, but many don’t. So it’s a good idea to wean children off naps before the first day of kindergarten. - Make Afterschool Plans
If your child will be in after school care, make those arrangements as soon as possible. Find out what afterschool care options your school offers and how much it costs. Make sure your child knows what the plans are and that you pick up your child on time or early so they don’t get anxious waiting for you. Create a backup plan with other parents, who you can rely on to pick up your child if you are running late.
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![Mother smiling holding her child while her other child peaks from behind her.](https://www.startearly.org/app/uploads/2024/07/Liv-and-Kids-I-225x300.jpg)
As parents juggle professional responsibilities and family life, the pressure to find reliable, high-quality child care can be overwhelming. Liv Woodstrom, Start Early Washington Director of Programs reflects on the challenges faced by working families, the impact of child care costs, and the barriers faced by working families across the United States.
The Numbers Don’t Lie
Liv Woodstrom has dedicated her professional career to supporting children and families. As a Pediatric Mental Health Specialist at Seattle Children’s Hospital, she helped families navigate the complex system of behavioral health. For the past 12 years, she’s been a leader in Washington state’s home visiting system, ensuring that pregnant and parenting families have the support they need in the critical early days of parenting. She knows a lot about navigating the systems that support families. Yet, when she started her own family, like everyone else, she faced many unexpected challenges. According to a poll from NPR, the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation and the Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health, 34% of families with young children are facing serious problems finding child care when adults need to work. For some families, the cost of child care exceeds 15% of their monthly income, and the percentage more than doubles for a single parent.
The Elusive Balance
Navigating child care for two children is akin to walking a tightrope. As Liv shares, “I know about Early Achievers, I know about how to look for quality. I understand the landscape of early learning and yet it’s still an uphill battle to navigate.” Even for experienced early learning professionals, figuring out how to meet your family’s unique needs is a challenge and the stress of finding suitable care can hang over families for many years, taking a toll on financial stability and emotional well-being.
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Families deserve more support, and child care providers deserve more recognition and sustainable and thriving wages. When we come together to advocate for change, we can ensure that every child has access to affordable, high-quality care.
Liv Woodstrom, Director of Programs, Start Early Washington
Limited Options
Geographic limitations compound the problem. While some families have only one viable child care option within driving distance, others find themselves in child care deserts – areas with insufficient access to quality providers. Families resort to less conventional solutions, relying on family, friends, and neighbors to patch together care. And these child care challenges aren’t necessarily uniform. Liv herself lives in what’s known as a child care desert in South King County, and she knows the added stress this can have for families. For her, the reality of trying to address access and affordability for two children under age four has meant having her parents move in with her for the past two years and paying them in place of paying for traditional out-of-home care.
Strategies for Support
There are some bright spots and places where progress is forging a path forward. “Increasing child care subsidies eases the financial burden for more families, and we must also ensure that assistance reaches those who need it most”, shares Liv. This includes focusing on the child care and early learning workforce, who provide critical support for working families and are essential to the growth and well-being of young children. In addition, paid parental leave in Washington has allowed more parents to bond with newborns and reduce the strain on working families during those critical early months. For many families, parental leave provides an opportunity for several months of initial care by a parent. But then what?
A Call for Change
As someone who has worked in family support for over two decades, Liv understands the uphill battle. “We know our current system isn’t working for many families and we know we deserve better. Families deserve more support, and child care providers deserve more recognition and sustainable and thriving wages. When we come together to advocate for change, we can ensure that every child has access to affordable, high-quality care.” Her message to parents is to remember, you’re not alone in this journey. Many families share your struggles, and collectively, we can do better.
Learn more about Start Early’s parental leave program and commitment to policies that support time for parents and caregivers to bond with and care for their children without jeopardizing their ability to afford basic needs.
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At Start Early, we believe that fostering an inclusive culture where all voices and experiences are valued is crucial for the healthy development of children. Celebrating Juneteenth is a powerful way to instill these values in the next generation, helping children take pride in their identity and appreciate the unique contributions they bring to the world.
By celebrating Juneteenth with your child, you are not only honoring a critical moment in history but also paving the way for a future rooted in understanding, acceptance, and equality.
Resources to Help Celebrate and Honor Juneteenth
Here are age-appropriate book recommendations and a celebratory Juneteenth song to share with your little one:
Read:
- My First Juneteenth High Contrast Baby Book by Gisbert Weber (recommended for infants)
- The Story of Juneteenth by Dorena Williamson (recommended for toddlers)
- Juneteenth for Mazie by Floyd Cooper (recommended for children in pre-K or kindergarten). You can also listen to this story read aloud.
- Tune into this Juneteenth read-aloud of I’m Gonna Push Through by Jasmyn Wright.
Listen:
- Fyütch and the Alphabet Rockers created Juneteenth Song for Kids, a song about what Juneteenth is and why we celebrate Black freedom and liberation.
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Caring parents want to protect their children from harm, which can make it difficult to know how to teach children about the history and create awareness about events like Pride. With many neighborhoods and communities showing their support for Pride in June, it’s only natural for children to get curious and start asking questions.
Child development experts agree parents should keep explanations simple and honest. It is also important to be positive and affirming. When adults listen to children without judgment, and meet children where they are at, it creates a foundation for open communication. When parents promote values of acceptance, children will grow proud of their identity and appreciate diversity.
Resources to Help Celebrate Pride Month with Your Children
Pride month is an important opportunity to teach children about what it means to be a member of LGBTQIA2S+ communities, share the history behind the month-long celebration, and to have some fun together as a family. Here are activities and resources that can be helpful when teaching your little one about Pride:
Watch:
- Here is a fantastic video of children sharing their wisdom on Pride celebrations: Kids Celebrate Pride NYC | Recess Therapy.
- Parents can visit the Trevor Project’s YouTube channel to watch Stories of Pride.
Read:
- The Welcoming Schools Human Rights Campaign Foundation developed a list of the Best Diverse Children’s Books with Transgender, Non-Binary and Gender Expansive Characters.
- RAISING LUMINARIES Books For Littles has cultivated a list of Queer Rainbow Children’s Books by Indigenous, Black and Brown authors.
- Social Justice Books, a Teaching For Change project, shares an LGBTQ+ booklist for children, young adults, and educators, which includes books for Early Childhood: Learning About Gender Diversity.
- The American Library Association’s Rainbow Book List is published annually and represents an array of diverse stories and identities representing the LGBTQIA2S+ youth experience.
Listen:
- Alphabet Rockers make intergenerational music that creates brave spaces to shape a more equitable world through hip-hop. Here is a video of them celebrating Pride in San Francisco. Their songs “We Royal”, “They/Them” and “Just Be” highlight LGBTQIA2S+ people.
- Additional LGBTQIA2S+ themed music for children is shared on the NPR website: A New Children’s Album Celebrates Kids Who Are Transgender And Nonbinary.
Additional Resources:
- There are also many activities that can be found online about celebrating Pride with Children. Fatherly offers: 10 Ways To Celebrate Pride Month With Your Kids and keep an eye out for local events where you live.
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Start Early Washington is fortunate to work with committed partners like Perigee Fund who believe in the power of healthy relationships with caregivers to give babies and toddlers the best start in life. Learn more about how Perigee Fund prioritizes investment in infant and maternal mental health in our recent conversation with Perigee team members Becca Graves and Kim Gilsdorf.
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![Becca Graves, Executive Director Perigee Fund](https://www.startearly.org/app/uploads/2024/05/Becca2-300x300.png)
Looking for Bright Spots
What are some of the biggest things you’ve learned in supporting infant and maternal mental health?
Becca: I have been really impressed by the leaders that we have encountered in Washington State and across the United States. We all know there are not enough resources in the ecosystem to support families. We also know there is not enough support for the work that infant and maternal mental health leaders are doing. Yet so many leaders are willing to step forward with partners and make things happen. For example, Perinatal Support Washington and Start Early partnered to provide home visitors with Maternal Mental Health training. That partnership has created new mental health resources for the workforce and for families.
![Kimberly Gilsdorf, Program Officer Perigee Fund](https://www.startearly.org/app/uploads/2024/05/Kim2-300x300.png)
Kim: Because early childhood and parent mental health is so under-resourced, there are opportunities for progress in many kinds of systems. That is helpful because as we seek to fund systems change, we can remember we don’t have the answers. We can’t foresee which groups of stakeholders, in which systems, are going to rise to the occasion because they care deeply about the bond between caregivers and a child, and they see how important that is to their work.
In Tennessee we see leadership from community behavioral health, in California we see innovation led by pediatricians and community health workers, and in New Jersey there are doulas growing access to maternal mental health care. These examples are the tip of the iceberg. The diversity of ways to make progress is both a lesson learned as well as an approach we can continue to support.
Creating a Movement
(Start Early) Are you finding new champions for infant and maternal mental health emerging since Perigee began in 2018?
Becca: We have learned that there are champions everywhere. I think our mission calls us to learn about opportunities to help everyone see the importance of child and family wellbeing and valuing the earliest relationships. Particularly where there are instances of trauma in a family’s experience, either now or intergenerationally.
Whether it’s guaranteed basic income or child welfare, there are people in tune with needs and opportunities, and there are people who are curious and want to learn more. By gathering people together, getting to know one another, and talking about the issues, you can see the places where the family economic security goals and the mental health goals can come together and be in alignment.
When parents experience adversity, such as poverty, trauma and racism, their children can feel lasting effects, even into adulthood. Early support for babies, families, and caregivers can lessen the impact, leading to better long-term health and well-being.
Perigee Fund
Building for the Future
What would the biggest impact or change you would like to see over the next 10-15 years because of Perigee’s intentional investments?
Kim: I’d like to see policy makers have a greater understanding of the fundamental importance of early relationships. That mental model shift is part of creating policies that make mental health support more equitable and more accessible for families with very young children.
Becca: We need to value and embed support for families in the places where they are. Certainly, there are many ways that families support themselves and communities support families that don’t require additional resourcing, but they do require us to respect and value the importance of family relationships and community relationships and not get in the way. And there is a lot that we should be doing differently with our public policy and with the ways that we think about community-based models of care.
Supporting the Field
This is hard work and it’s not as easily measured as “can your child read by third grade.” Perigee has been such a champion in helping to advance our Neuroscience, Epigenetics, Adverse Childhood Experiences, Resilience (NEAR@Home) trauma-informed training to support home visitors in building a hope-focused approach when talking with families about trauma. It is also some of the most promising work we have for infant and maternal mental health. Can you tell us about why you chose to support NEAR?
Kim: NEAR does something with grace that is both important and difficult. It helps families and providers navigate difficult conversations about trauma, slowly and with compassion. Conversations about early childhood trauma can be very challenging for all involved, which is part of why many infant mental health professionals are invested in ongoing learning and reflective supervision. NEAR makes it possible to integrate some of that skill building and support into the job of being a home visitor. Regardless of their degree or education, all home visiting professionals trained in NEAR get the support they need to navigate hard topics with families and to do so with kindness and love. It is incredible!
Learn more about Perigee Fund’s priorities for Infant and Early Childhood Mental Health.
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As a former preschool teacher, Adrienne Matthias, Start Early Washington Home Visiting Training Manager has always believed in the power of early connections with families. While teaching in Korea in her twenties, she recognized that the most powerful way to reach children was through the parents and caregivers who really had the strongest relationship with them. This awareness of the opportunities to create healthy relationships early on is what eventually led her to home visiting.
Planting the Seeds for Early Intervention
Back in the U.S. teaching preschool, the idea of connecting with families as early as possible became more important to Adrienne, strengthening her view that all parents need support during those first critical years of a child’s life. This led Adrienne to training as a home visitor, because as she sees it, home visiting provides an important resource, partnering with parents in ways that differ from a traditional classroom setting. Home visitors can support parents, building their confidence and providing tools and emotional support during the critical early days of parenting.
It’s not just about watching this child develop, it’s about watching the parent develop and step into their parenting with the knowledge to be able to advocate for their children and see themselves as good, worthy parents.
Adrienne Matthias, Start Early Washington Home Visiting Training Manager
A Journey to Infant and Toddler Mental Health
As she became a program manager, Adrienne found new meaning in working with home visitors and parent educators through reflective supervision, making time for them to slow down and think more deeply about their practice. By shifting the focus to the home visitor and their needs, it could have significant impact on the delivery of services to families. Adrienne felt a growing desire to learn learning more about infant and toddler mental health, which led her to the Infant Toddler Mental Health certificate program and Portland State University’s Early Childhood Inclusive Education Master’s Degree. Drawn in by the school’s strengths-based and collaborative approach, and infant mental health classes’ exploration of the dynamic between parent-child or caregiver-child relationship in particular, the program reinforced her beliefs of how these interactions profoundly shape a child’s development while impacting the parent’s journey. One that Adrienne sees as a delicate dance that requires understanding, empathy, and advocacy.
The Dance of Parenting
As Adrienne shared, mothers, in particular, often struggle with self-doubt when it comes to parenting. “We tend to focus on our perceived shortcomings rather than celebrating our strengths. Home visiting that supports infant and maternal mental health can step in to bridge this gap. By supporting parents, we empower them to build strong attachment relationships. It’s not just about the child’s growth it’s about the parents’ growth too, and as home visitors, we can be a part of facilitating this transformation firsthand.”
Unseen Impact
Home visitors rarely know the full impact of their work. However, home visitors all have stories that demonstrate the power of the program to support families. Adrienne shares one story of a distressed mother who truly believed she couldn’t handle parenting. Her daughter’s tantrum at a bouncy house left her feeling inadequate and unequipped. By exploring the mother’s strengths, emphasizing and reminding her of the effort she put into creating enriching experiences for her child, despite the challenges of the moment, she was able to recognize that she had persevered through the challenge, and she was able to do it because she knew it was beneficial for her child. Leaning into the strengths-based aspects of the interaction and being able to normalize these emotional moments helps parents recognize their worth.
There are hard things all the time, and it doesn’t mean that you ignore them. The strengths-based approach is how you humanize them and how you hold people in your mind, how you treat people because you are holding them fully as people. That is the most important thing to remember.
Adrienne Matthias, Start Early Washington Home Visiting Training Manager
The Luxury of Strengths-Based Approaches
In trauma-informed principles, like those at the center of the hope-filled, compassionate NEAR@Home practice for addressing childhood trauma, being strengths-based is essential. Imagine entering someone’s home and focusing on what they’re doing well instead of pointing out flaws. It’s a necessity to be able to see what is going right —one that reveals genuine strengths. When home visitors are able to help parents see the best in themselves, we empower them. It’s not about rigid rules; it’s about acknowledging their efforts. Even after tough experiences, it’s critical to be able to take a step back and appreciate the positives—a parallel process that enriches the practice.
Continuing to Emphasize the Positive
Maternal and infant mental health isn’t just about fixing problems; it’s about celebrating strengths. Home visitors hold a unique position—to witness growth, resilience, and love within families. As Adrienne continues in her role leading Washington’s training efforts and expansion of NEAR trauma-informed practice, she believes in the power and potential of these strengths-based approaches to empower families to build strong and healthy relationships that will last a lifetime.
The mental health of parents plays an important role in shaping the trajectory of their child’s social and emotional well-being.
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We asked Michael Gouterman, our mental health expert, why prioritizing parental mental health is essential for nurturing a healthy environment for children to thrive.
- Understanding the Impact
Parents are their children’s first teachers, and it is the quality of parent-child relationships and interactions that create the foundational skills that children need to be successful in school and in life. When parents experience mental health challenges, it can have ripple effects on their children’s development. - The Dysregulated World
Imagine a child born into a world where their caregivers are grappling with their own dysregulation—an environment marked by stress, anxiety or depression. In such circumstances, the ability of caregivers to provide consistent emotional support and regulation may be compromised, impacting the child’s sense of safety and security. Read our tackling tough topics posts on: Racism and Violence - The Transmission of Stress
Stress has a way of affecting parent-child relationships and impacting the way children may perceive the world. When parents struggle with their mental health, children may internalize this stress, leading to challenges in emotional regulation and social and emotional development. - Empowering Parents as Advocates
Recognizing the importance of parental mental health is not about assigning blame, but rather acknowledging the complex interplay between individual well-being and environmental factors. Empowering parents to advocate for their own mental health is paramount, ensuring they have access to resources and support systems to address their needs. - Breaking the Cycle
When we prioritize parental mental health, we can break the cycle of the intergenerational transmission of stress and help create an environment where children can thrive. When parents prioritize their own well-being, and are better equipped to provide the support and stability their children need to navigate life’s challenges.
Helpful Mental Health Resources for Parents
- Mental Health Resources for Parents and Caregivers – Administration for Children and Families
- Parenting while coping with depression
- Resilience topic landing page and resources – American Psychological Association
- Taking care of ourselves – Activities for parents (English)
- Taking care of ourselves – Activities for parents (Spanish)
- Checking your employee benefits for Employee Assistance Programs, which typically include mental health support.
Mindfulness Tips:
- Check your employee benefits for subscriptions to paid mindfulness and meditation services, such as Calm or Chill Anywhere.
- Search your phone’s app store for apps that offer free services.
- Youtube is a great resource for finding free mindfulness and/or meditation sessions of any length.