In our fast-paced world it can feel like issues of violence and racism are dominating the content we consume from the news to social media to conversations with our friends and loved ones. While we are all working to process our thoughts, feelings and emotions around these difficult topics, so are our little ones. They are seeing these topics play out around them and, more importantly, they’re watching how the adults in their lives are responding. They might not be able to fully grasp what is going on, but even our youngest learners are picking up on our emotions in these challenging times.

That’s why here at the Start Early we created this series, Tackling Tough Topics with Your Little One, to give you helpful advice from our experts as well as tips to navigate discussing difficult topics such as violence, racism and loss with your children.

Why Racism?

The racially charged murders of Ahmaud Arbery, Breonna Taylor and George Floyd have been in the spotlight recently, but for every high-profile death that makes national news, thousands of similar incidents are quickly dismissed or ignored. As our country works to dismantle and rebuild in the wake of these violent events, it’s important to remember that even though your child may be too young to understand it, they are seeing how racial injustice and anti-Black sentiment are playing out on a national stage. Children as young as 6 months old begin to notice race-based differences, and by age 2 children are beginning to internalize racial biases. That is why it is so important to talk to your children about racism and discrimination early on and in an age appropriate way.

How to Address the Topic of Racism

• Five things to remember as a parent when talking to your child about racism:
  • Remember to take care of yourself. Do not binge on news and social media. Watch what you need to stay informed and then make sure you process the information in a health way.
    • Use mindfulness activities, exercise, spending time with your family, or music and movement activities, etc.
  • Practice what you want to say ahead of time. These conversations can bring up a lot of uncertainty and fear in parents, too. It’s ok to call a friend or family member and practice ahead of time so that you will feel more comfortable when the time comes to talk to your child.
  • Be aware of your own biases. Your child is paying attention to your behavior and learning from how you act and react in different situations.
  • Be open to your child’s questions around racism and encourage them to come to you with them. Remember, it’s ok if you don’t have all of the answers.
  • Consider that this conversation is approached very differently between Black and white parents.
    • The “talk” in Black families is often started very early, usually around when the child is 4 years old and includes:
      • Don’t resist police.
      • Don’t run when approached by police
      • Don’t talk back
      • When in a store, do not run and keep your hands visible at all times
      • Don’t think that just because your white friend can do it, you can to
      • Do stay close to your parent at all times
    • For white families sometimes the talk happens much later, or not at all, and parents don’t know where to start. If you are struggling to have the “talk” with your child, here are a few things to keep in mind:
      • Children aren’t colorblind, all children develop racial prejudices unless their parents engage them directly about it, which is why talking about racism is so important.
      • Be direct and intentional, use the words race and racism when talking about this topic.
      • Lead by example to help your child understand why it’s so important to be anti-racist
      • It’s ok to point out that skin color doesn’t have much biological significance, but skin color does have a lot of historical importance.
      • If your child does say or do something racist, help them to understand that it’s not ok. You can thank them for being honest, and even admit if you’ve felt that way before. But explain why it’s racist and wrong. Intention doesn’t matter, even if they didn’t mean it, comments and actions still do harm, and they need to know that.

• For Infants and Toddlers
  • Read picture books—make sure they see images of themselves reflected in the pictures at storytime.
  • Make sure you present different races and cultures through books, toys, food, languages, etc.
  • Reinforce that difference is not bad—recognize and celebrate differences.

• For Children Ages 3-5
  • Read books
    • If all of the characters in the book look the same, ask your child what they think about that.
    • Add different books that show black and brown children of different cultures being the hero or solving the problem.
    • Introduce age appropriate books the discuss topics of Civil/Human Rights, Discrimination.
  • This might sound simple, but it’s actually pretty important—ask your child how they feel. You know your child best and can sense when they are upset. Try asking what they might be worried about or afraid of so you can reinforce that you are there to protect and support them.
  • Use the idea of fairness to help describe how racism is unfair and unacceptable; young children understand the concept of fairness very well, and this will help them understand why we need to work together to make it better.

Other Resources

• A Kids Book About Racism
• Recommended books with characters of color
• Recommended books on social justice

Stay tuned for the next article in our series which will cover how to talk to your little ones about loss. Connect with us for more resources, tips and expert advice.

The term doula is one that most people might think of when it comes to celebrity pregnancies, but know little else about. At the Start Early, we know that creating strong bonds between parents and babies is crucial to a baby’s future development. Our Healthy Parents & Babies program’s doulas and home visitors serve children and families, beginning prenatally and through age 3. Our doulas and home visitors are trained professionals who provide the highest level of care to help families from under-resourced communities thrive. In the wake of COVID-19 crisis, our program has had to adapt services to a virtual format to continue to meet families’ needs while keeping everyone safe and healthy. ­­

But first, what is a doula?

A doula is trained professional who provides continuous educational, emotional and physical support to a mother before, during and shortly after childbirth to help achieve the healthiest pregnancy, labor and delivery possible. Doulas support and comfort mothers and help them to have a safe and memorable birthing experience. A doula is responsible for informing and educating families about the different medical interventions, comfort measures, patient rights and other topics related to childbirth and post-partum education. Typically, doulas accept mothers who are entering into their third trimester. Doulas are required to have a series of monthly home visits with the participants to ensure they are able to not only retain the information, but to also make informed decisions.

What is the difference between a doula and a home visitor?

A doula coaches mothers through pregnancy and the first few weeks of their baby’s life. This helps the mother to develop healthy habits prior to birth, prepare for a successful pregnancy, labor and delivery, and create strong bonds with the baby. Our Healthy Parents & Babies program empowers mothers to make the right decisions for herself and advocate for her child’s health.

Once the baby is born, families transition from a doula to a home visitor who helps continue building a strong relationship between parent(s) and their baby, creating a safe and stimulating home environment, developing healthy eating routines for the family and connecting families to health care resources. Parents learn activities and habits that will stimulate their child’s brain development to help them thrive.

Why are doulas/home visitors important during a child’s early stages of life?

Doulas are important during pregnancy as they provide education to women about the stages of pregnancy, changes to their body and fetal development. Doulas also provide support to pregnant women during labor and delivery by providing comfort measures, support and guidance to advocate for their laboring and delivery preferences.

Home visitors are important during a child’s early stages of life as they provide families with individual educational support with early attachment and learning about their child’s growth and development. Home visitors also support families with individual parent-child education and recognize that parents and caregivers are the child’s first teacher.

What does doula/home visiting look like at Healthy Parents & Babies?

Start Early’s Healthy Parents & Babies Program offers support and coaching to pregnant women, young parents and children birth through age 3. Each family is provided with an individualized home visiting plan that is tailored to meet their needs. Pregnant women learn about their pregnancy and their child’s growth and development. Home visits include story time, parent-child development activities, parent reflections and planning for the next home visit.

How has Healthy Parents & Babies adapted services during the COVID-19 pandemic?

Out of an abundance of caution for the health and well-being of our families, doulas, home visitors and family support staff, Healthy Parents & Babies has moved all of its work to a virtual format in the wake of the current health crisis.

Our doula’s have continued to support families with weekly virtual check-ins and support during labor and delivery. Our home visitors have maintained contact with their families on their scheduled home visit day by checking-in via cellphone, FaceTime, messenger, Class Dojo and Zoom.

Our family support specialists have been maintaining weekly contact with parents and providing information on proper hand washing, symptoms of COVID-19 and locations where families can get tested for COVID-19. Family support staff have also continued to provide weekly check-ins with families that include well-being checks, and information on resources such as: support services for unemployment, community food pantries and resources for immigrant families.

What makes Healthy Parents & Babies unique?

Healthy Parents & Babies serves children and families prenatally through age 3. Women can enter our program at any stage of their pregnancy, and after their children are born, they transition to our Early Head Start home visiting program. Program participation is not limited to first-time mothers or first-time participants in the program. Participants must meet Early Head Start income eligibility guidelines.

We also support families with children who have special needs through individualized lesson plans which are inclusive to the child’s Individual Family Service Plan. Our team serves a diverse population, and we employ bilingual staff to support the families we serve.

Our families genuinely love the program, their doulas and home visitors:

“Healthy Parents & Babies has helped not only my family but every family in this program and I can only speak for myself, but we will forever be grateful that during this time you are able to help us.” –Elizabeth H.

“I’m really thankful with all of you for all your support, I know it’s a lot of people who are a part of the program that don’t even know me. But Rosa and Vicky thank you so much you are always there for us, in the times when I even need to talk to someone you have been there, always trying to look for help for us. And loving my girls. I will be sure to tell my girls all about my experience with you all and pray that they grow up to help and care for the next family in need of help. Thank you so much!” –Debbie C.

Other program benefits include:

• Prenatal and parent group meetings
• Events to socialize and interact with other children and parents
• Literacy events
• Male involvement groups
• Limited transportation assistance
• Services for children with special needs

In our fast-paced world it can feel like issues of violence and racism are dominating the content we consume from the news to social media to conversations with our friends and loved ones. While we are all working to process our thoughts, feelings and emotions around these difficult topics, so are our little ones. They are seeing these topics play out around them and, more importantly, they’re watching how the adults in their lives are responding. They might not be able to fully grasp what is going on, but even our youngest learners are picking up on our emotions in these challenging times.

That’s why here at Start Early we created this series, Tackling Tough Topics with Your Little One, to give you helpful advice from our experts as well as tips to navigate discussing difficult topics such as violence, racism and loss with your children. During the first installation of our series, Kristie Norwood, Start Early grantee education manager, shares tips and resources on how to address the topic of violence with your child.

Why Violence?

To say that recent events in our country have been violent would be an understatement. Children see the violence happening around them whether that is on television, at school or simply by hearing what the adults in their lives are saying. Even though very young children may not be able to talk about these topics in depth, they can still pick up on and respond to how the adults in their lives feel. It is important to address the topic of violence with your young children to make sure that they have accurate information and can learn how to handle their emotions. Most importantly you want to make sure to reinforce that that you love your child and that you all are working as a family to be safe and to help keep others safe, too.

How to Address the Topic of Violence

• For Infants and Toddlers

  • It’s critical to instill a feeling of safety and security with your infants and toddlers. Their well-being is linked to the strength of their relationships with their caregivers.
  • Let your child know that it is their job is to be a kid, and your job as their parent is to keep them safe.
  • Let them know that you are staying safe and are trying to be safe in everything that you do.
  • Even babies can sense if you are sad or upset, so as much as it might be difficult for you, try not to expose your children to your anxiety around this topic. It might be helpful to try a few mindfulness activities to reduce stress, such as breathing exercises or repeating positive mantras.
  • Work with your child to find a way to identify and process their own feelings of anger, stress, fear and anxiety in a healthy way. For example, you could ask them to draw a picture about how they are feeling and talk about it.
  • Talk with your child about their feelings and reassure them that you are there to love and support them.

• For Children Ages 3-5

  • Have conversations about what they are talking about at school with their friends—this will let you know if they are discussing current events.
  • When your child starts to discuss topics like gun violence, death or police brutality, let them. It is only natural for them to be curious. Use this as a learning opportunity to ask how they feel about these topics.
  • When your child asks you a question, keep your answers short and focused on what you and your family can do to be safe.
  • Remember to stay calm and use simple language that your child will understand. And if you don’t know the answer, it’s okay to say just that.

• For Both Age Groups

  • One of the best ways to start a conversation with your child is through books. Pick an age-appropriate book on the topic for storytime and then start to read. Your child’s questions will naturally develop from there.
  • Ask your child questions like: How do feel about that? Tell me more about that? Why do you think they are angry?
  • Monitor your child’s television viewing and screen time to prevent “overload.” This will help to ensure that you know what kind of content your child is consuming.
  • Try to limit your own viewing of the news or other potentially violent content to times when your child is either asleep or not in the room.
  • Explain the concept of safety using examples your child will understand. For example: Remember how we hold hands when we go outside so you don’t get lost? That is one way we stay safe. We work very hard to make sure that we can be as safe as possible.

Other Resources

• Recommended books on the topic:
  • Something Happened in Our Town, ages 4-8
  • I Walk with Vanessa: A Story About a Simple Act of Kindness, ages 4-8
  • Peaceful Fights for Equal Rights, ages 4-8
• Consider talking to your pediatrician if you notice any of the following signs of anxiety:
  • Withdrawal from activities your child used to love
  • Excessive nail biting
  • Regression in potty training
  • Separation issues
  • For example “James used to love going outside for walks, now he cries whenever I suggest it.” Or “Hannah is starting to bite her nails until they bleed. She just started doing this within the last couple of weeks.”
  • It’s always good to have an open line of communication with your child’s doctor, they are trained to note differences in behaviors and what those differences can mean medically.
• From our friends at ZERO TO THREE: Racism and Violence: Using Your Power as a Parent to Support Children Aged Two to Five
• Addressing childhood fears with our friends at PBS Kids

Gardening is great way for children to experience nature and science by exploring how things grow and where food comes from while offering opportunities for lessons in math, language, social interactions and cultures.

Recommended for Preschoolers

Materials Needed:

• Eating the Alphabet by Lois Ehlert
• A pencil, crayon, pen or other writing tool, and paper
• Grocery store advertisements and scissors

Developmental Goals: 

• Identify a variety of healthy food options, in this case fruits and vegetables.
• Associate letters with the beginning sounds of words.
• Recognize upper and lower case letters. Categorize produce as either a fruit or a vegetable.

In the Future:

• The more opportunities young children have to explore a variety of foods, the more likely that they will eat a varied and healthy diet as they grow.
• As children build their understanding of letters and the sounds they make, they will begin to piece letters together in invented spelling.
• The ability to categorize objects is a beginning math skill that children will later build upon as they identify the properties of shapes and understand how to complete a pattern.

Activity:

1. Introduce the book to your child.  As with any new book, take time to allow her to explore the book’s pictures on her own before sitting down to read it out loud.
2. As you read the book, invite her to talk about the foods she sees on each page.
3. In addition to simply identifying the fruits and vegetables, talk about which ones she likes, which ones she wants to try, or what recipes you could make with the foods.
4. If your child has shown an interest in the alphabet, invite her to tell you the letters she recognizes.
5. For more letter play, you can encourage her to make connections among the letter sounds and the first letter of the foods on each page.
6. After enjoying the book a few times, invite your child to guess which foods are fruits and which are vegetables. You can extend on this idea by bringing out grocery store advertisements from the newspaper and having her cut out pictures of fruits and vegetables. Once she cuts out the pictures, have her sort them into two piles: a fruit pile and a vegetable pile.
7. You can take this further by having your child create a grocery list of fruits and vegetables by either drawing pictures of the foods, writing letters to represent the beginning sounds of each food, or using invented spelling. At the store, ask your child to look closely for the foods that she put on your list.

Don’t underestimate the incredible thinking skills that young children have. Through this activity, your toddler will learn about the idea of perspective by using everyday objects and comparing their sizes.

Recommended for Infants

Materials Needed:

• Several small, interesting toys (rattles, teethers, colorful blocks, shakers)
• Soft blanket

Developmental Goals:

• Promote gross and fine motor development that encourages them to move, reach and stretch.
• Purposeful movement of own bodies.

In the Future:

• Infants need plenty of opportunities to increase their strength and motor development to eventually be able to crawl and then walk.
• Reaching for objects is goal directed behavior; as infants become successful at obtaining objects, it will encourage them to continue to act with purpose.

Activity:

1. This activity is appropriate only for infants who are able to support their body weight enough for tummy-time activities.
2. Spread the blanket on the floor in an area where he will be protected from other activity in the room.
3. Place him on his tummy on the blanket. Show him a toy and describe it to him. Look, (Child’s Name), I have a blue and white rattle.
4. Put the toy on the blanket just at arm’s reach from your child so that he has to stretch his arm out to grab it.
5. Give him time to shake, mouth and touch the toy.
6. When he shows you he is ready for a new experience, place another toy just at arm’s reach for him to grab.
7. Encourage him to use the opposite arm by placing the toy within closer reach of the arm he did not previously use.
8. Repeat the interaction for as long as your child is interested. Pay particular attention to his activity level. It is hard work for your child to lie on his tummy and reach for toys. You may notice that he is beginning to have a hard time supporting his head and neck, he is no longer reaching for objects, or he has an unhappy look on his face. When your child shows you that he is finished or that his body is getting tired, help him change position so he can rest his muscles.

As you are playing with your baby, consider how he moves his arms and the rest of his body to reach the toy, in what ways does he grasp and manipulate the toy, and how long is he able to attend to his experience.

Don’t underestimate the incredible thinking skills that young children have. Through this activity, your toddler will compare objects and ask questions to help understand their differences in quantity.

Recommended for Preschoolers

Materials Needed:

• Not a Box by Antoinette Portis
• Cardboard boxes, cardboard tubes, other recycled materials
• Bedsheets or blankets

Developmental Goals:

• Using language to share ideas.
• Using imagination in play.

In the Future:

• Being able to express ideas through language gives young children the opportunity to strengthen their vocabulary and develop their conversational skills.
• Imaginative thinking provides children with opportunities to develop flexible thinking, strengthening their ability to problem solve, which is important when attempting later math and reading problems.

Activity:

1. Introduce the book to your child.  As with any new book, take time to allow your child to explore the book’s pictures on his own before sitting down to read it out loud.
2. As you read the book together, invite him to talk about the different things that the rabbit makes with his cardboard box.
3. After reading the story, show your child the recycled materials you have collected.  Working together, decide what you will build.
4. Allow your child to take the lead, but don’t be afraid to join in and share ideas!
5. After the play space is built, ask him to describe what he built.

For older preschoolers: have them use writing tools to record a blue print of what they want to build prior to building. This provides them with the opportunity to analyze, plan and follow through on their ideas.